Essay 1: Explain your biggest regret

I've only known one regret in my life and that is enough for me to bear. I think about it every single day. I spent most of my time at work today clouded by this regret.
When I was in my senior year of high school, I befriended a curly red headed girl. What interested me so much to this girl was that she was a dancer. Trust me, I'm so messed up that this is all that I see.
You need to understand that I see this world like a poet. I don't see busy traffic, I see people going and doing stuff. When I see someone dance, it completly captivates me. It's all I see. Any kind of dance from the cha cha to the robot. No joke.
So we hit it off really well and became very peachy friends. She was the friend that you stop your madness for. She just had that affection on me to leave the bad with yesterday and search for the good of tomorrow. To have faith just because, and not because you have reasons.
But we were different. She was brought up by a good family and had a foundation on life built on love. While was raised mostly by tv, friends, and my youngest sister. I had a foundation not to trust anyone I know and fight for what I want.
That's like expection to mix white paint and black paint to get white paint. Our differences soon made things unsteady and we parted. Big fights and stuff told that will die with those days.
I'm not the same person who I was back then. Am I better and more in the light? No, I'm even farther into the darkness now. I don't believe that light was intended to be shared with me anymore. I used to say that I regret those fights and we could have still been friends.
But truely, I regret ever coming into her life. I took alot from her and gave nothing back. No matter how you look at it, it was going to come crashing down someday.
I believe that her life would have been better, she'd be happier if she had never met me. She'd never admit it because she's a good person and good people never say they'd rather not meet someone.
I've done many bad things that has effect on how I live out the rest of my life, but this is the one thing I regret. I believe I learn from mistakes but nothing is learned in this thus it's a regret.
But you know what? It's not all bad, just the topic focuses on the regret. We had alot of goodness in there. I'll always remember those train rides in Chicago. I'll also remember that fish wave left to right and dolphins wave up to down. But I know she and her family has forgivin me, but I live each day still not forgiving myself.
-jeff